


Holy Water Cannot Help You Now

by bouquetofwhoopsiedaisies



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Blood, Contracts, Demons, F/M, Humor, Hunk really didn't go to work today expecting to get a demon girlfriend but here we are, Monsters, Necromancy, Rituals, Witchcraft, but no death, demoness!Allura, just a little bit of blood tho, necromancer!Hunk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-17
Updated: 2018-08-17
Packaged: 2019-06-28 17:47:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15712044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bouquetofwhoopsiedaisies/pseuds/bouquetofwhoopsiedaisies
Summary: Hunk was frozen, rooted to the spot as he looked up at the enormous, seven-foot tall being made of shade and smoke surrounding glowing embers, and he realized what this was.It was a demon.He had accidentally summoned a demon.(Or, Hunk should really get a lawyer.  But maybe his new demon girlfriend can help him with that)





	Holy Water Cannot Help You Now

**Author's Note:**

> My gift to [Iona](http://ionanana.tumblr.com/) for the Monstertron Gift Exchange! This was a lot of fun to write, thanks for the opportunity to write some Hunk/Allura content! 
> 
> Also thank you to my friend and fellow Monstertron-exchange-buddy Shippy for beta reading this while I beta read hers. She wrote a lovely Allura/Water-nymph!Nyma piece which you can read [here!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15702885)
> 
> (Cough cough, I _totally_ didn't draw a bit of location inspiration from a certain Buzzfeed Unsolved episode featuring a house infested with a demon...)

“So, right there is where he… where it happened.”  Hunk’s client pointed to a spot along the far wall of the dimly-lit basement.  There was a single metal bracket that used to hold a shelf, the other one and the heavy wooden board of the shelf were stacked neatly against the base of the wall.  A large crack split across the concrete floor, likely where the shelf had struck it. 

The client drew in a shaky breath.  “Grandpa was taking down some boxes there, and the whole shelf slid off and fell on him.  He was alone in the house, so no one heard and we didn’t find out until it was too late.” He sighed heavily and sagged against the wall of the stairwell.  Hunk wondered if there was a reason he wouldn’t set foot on the basement floor. Perhaps the memories were too painful.

He nodded, eyes picking apart the scene.  “I see. It will be stronger if I do the summoning here, where his spirit might still be lingering.”  He straightened up and turned to the client. “The rituals will take some time to complete. Would you like me to call you when I’m ready to do the actual summoning?”  

The man looked hesitant, eyes sliding over to the spot where his grandfather had died.  “...I don’t think I’ll be able to handle seeing him and knowing he’ll have to go away again, honestly.  It was really hard on me, when it happened. I don’t want to go through it again.” He reached into his jacket pocket and took out a piece of paper folded in half.  “Here, just… just ask him these questions. My dad and I can’t make any changes to the company until we know what Grandpa would have wanted. Just ask him those questions, and I’ll-- actually, I think I’ll go get some fresh air while you’re doing it.  I don’t think I can be around when it happens.” 

Hunk took the paper and read over the list.  It wasn’t uncommon for people to get emotional -- both in bittersweet joy and terrified fear -- upon seeing their recently-deceased relatives reanimated or their ghosts.  It was what they were paying him to do, so they knew what they were getting into when they signed his contract, but he could understand how it might be a lot to process, for someone not used to raising spirits on the regular.  Not having a nervously-pacing and prone-to-screaming audience peering over his shoulder while he worked would be a welcome change, actually. 

People often had a misunderstanding of Hunk’s work; necromancy didn’t have to be a crazed guy in a long black cloak and skull jewelry sneaking into graveyards to raise his own personal army of dead zombies.  His clients were often surprised when they met him at his office or at their front door with his neat appearance and classy dark suit, probably looking more like he had banking papers in his briefcase than the actual amulets and tools he needed for his work.  They often remarked on his professional air, especially when he made them sign a contract outlining his services for them and a disclaimer that they couldn’t sue him if they ended up being shocked to see the deceased loved ones they were hiring him to call back.  He always made it clear that he wasn’t bringing people back from the dead permanently -- that just wasn’t possible -- and more often than not, ghosts were finicky and uncooperative, so they might not even get the answers they sought. Still, he tried his best on every case, and over the years, he had developed his own little ways to ensure the best outcome for both the living and the dead involved. 

As the slam of a car door and the hush of tires over pavement echoed from outside the narrow basement window facing the driveway, Hunk cracked his knuckles and got started.  He set out his tools and supplies, took a deep breath to settle himself and clear his mind, and got to work. Hunk went through the rituals with well-practiced movements, drawing circles and symbols on the cracked concrete floor and sprinkling herbs and blood from his thumb over the ground, lips forming ancient chants in long-dead languages.    

The concrete splintered with an almighty  _ crack _ , long fissures reaching out over the floor.  The cracks glowed an ominous red, as if lit by fire from underneath.  Hunk’s eyes widened; that was  _ not _ supposed to happen.  He was sure he hadn’t made a mistake in his ritual… what had gone wrong?  What was happening?

Suddenly, the cracks stopped and there was a moment of silence before a slab of concrete shifted in place.  Hunk’s heart stopped beating as long, ink-black fingers made of shadows worked their way up between the cracks and gripped the concrete.  Before Hunk could even blink, the slab of thick concrete had been thrown across the room as easily as he might throw a pebble, shattering against the basement wall.  Hunk could only watch in horror as a figure pulled itself up from the hole in the floor. Whatever it was, it wasn’t human and hadn’t ever been human; it was no ghost, no reanimated corpse… Hunk was frozen, rooted to the spot as he looked up at the enormous, seven-foot tall being made of shade and smoke surrounding glowing embers, and he realized what this was.  

It was a demon.

He had accidentally summoned a demon.

Hunk couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, even as he watched the demon straighten up and grin at him, displaying a mouth full of burning embers that crackled and growled with every movement.  Suddenly the demon shifted, the shadows condensing and settling into something that, if Hunk hadn’t seen the transformation with his own eyes, looked almost like a human woman. The wisps of gray and white smoke rose to wreath the demon’s head and cascade down the back like hair, though the black horns remained and solidified until they looked shiny, hard, and deadly sharp.  Shadows and embers joined together to form smooth, rich umber skin that glowed eerily in the orange, flickering light coming from the hole the demon had climbed out of. The thinner, wispier shadows that had clung to the edges of the demon’s form now settled on her body, cloaking her in clothes literally spun from darkness. She wore a circlet of gold around her forehead, tipped with a small turquoise-colored gemstone that glowed faintly, seemingly not from this world.  Pink, boomerang-shaped markings rested under her closed eyes, and her pointed ears were decorated with more gold and purple jewelry. Hunk nearly jumped when her eyes flew open suddenly, revealing pure black depths and blood-red irises to match the color of her lips. She grinned upon seeing him, revealing a mouth full of sharp, pointed teeth. 

“So you’re the one who summoned me.”  She strode forward casually, shadows following in her footsteps and curling around her long legs.  

“I did no such thing!”  Hunk took a step back, but held his ground against her.  “I was just holding a seance! I did not summon a demon!”

“Demoness.  The demoness Allura.”  She corrected. “And I am here, am I not?”  She spread her hands as if in a shrug, but she was smirking widely.  

“Well… go back!”  Hunk pointed to the fiery hole she had climbed out of.  

She laughed, high and clear.  “I will not. Hell is not exactly a fun place to live, you know.  Too many souls screaming in agony at all hours of the day, and the heat… it gives you a headache after a few centuries.  I needed a change of pace.” She stretched languidly. “It is nice and cool here in the mortal world. I think I’ll stay here.” 

“Wh-what?  No.” Hunk shook his head.  “No, you can’t just… You’re a demon!  You can’t just enter the mortal realm whenever you please!”

“True, I cannot.”  Allura said. “I had to wait until someone opened the portal.  And you did just that.” She smirked and prodded him in the chest with one finger, her nails almost as sharp as claws.  

Hunk took a step back out of her reach.  “I  _ did not  _ open a portal to Hell; I conducted a simple seance.  I’ve  _ never  _ made a mistake in my rituals.  How did you manage to get through?”  

“ _ You  _ didn’t create the portal, you just knocked it open.”  Allura explained, striding over to a charred black stain in the corner of the basement that Hunk hadn’t noticed before.  It looked like a small fire had broken out there long ago. “The former tenants of this house were Satanists. Or, well, they tried to be.”  Smirking to herself, she waved her hand and a purple glowing portal materialized, showing Hunk a view of the same basement they were standing in.  A woman was standing there with a cauldron positioned in the center of a pentagram drawn on the floor right where the charred mark was now. She was dressed in a black velvet cloak that looked like it might have been bought in a Halloween shop, and chanting from a book, but Hunk was fairly certain that was not proper Satanic ritual.  Even as he watched, the cauldron remained motionless and the woman dropped her hands and let her head fall to her chest, visibly disappointed in the lack of magical activity. 

Hunk grit his teeth.  Great, so the former tenant of the house clumsily created a wonky portal to Hell, and his client never bothered to tell him the basement might have supernatural factors to work around, so naturally he would be unlucky enough to stumble upon the latent portal without realizing it was there.  And now he had a demoness to deal with. 

“Well, the portal is still open.”  Hunk pointed to the still-flickering hole in the floor.  “So crawl back in there and don’t come back.”

“No.”  Allura said simply, vanishing the image with a wave of her hand.  “I quite like it here. I’m staying.” She looked around the basement.  “Well, not quite ‘here’, this is rather dingy.” She turned her gaze on Hunk, looking him up and down almost hungrily.  “I’ll just go home with you instead.” She said decisively.

“What?!  No!” Hunk sputtered.  “You can’t  _ stay _ !  You’re not even supposed to be here!”  He planted his feet, straightened his back, and pointed at the remains of the hole in the floor.  “Go back in there, toss out the ghost of this guy’s grandfather, and then never come back to the mortal world again!  I hearby banish you!”

Allura just stared at him flatly for a few seconds, unimpressed.  “Are you always this inhospitable? You’re quite cute, but I might have to find another roommate.”  

“You’re-- what-- no!”  Hunk sputtered, trying to ignore the fact that a  _ demon  _ \-- otherworldly beautiful herself -- had just called him ‘cute’ and instead focus on the possibility of her attaching herself to some innocent bystander rather than him, who knew much more about demons than the average person.  Hunk pulled out the two pieces of paper he had in his pocket and brandished them at her. “Look, I’ve got this contract from a client to ask these questions to his dead grandfather. I’m on a bit of a tight schedule, and you’re getting in the way of my work.  If you’re not going to help me find this ghost, you can just get out of here.” 

Allura’s black-sclera gaze settled on the typed form and she frowned.  “Let me see that.” 

Hunk handed it over, hoping she would come to her senses and leave him alone.  Did demons have senses, he wondered as he watched her read the print. 

Suddenly she laughed, and a moment later, flames burst out of her hands and burnt the paper to a crisp.  “You call that a contract? Pathetic.” She dusted soot off her hands as Hunk let out a shocked yelp of indignation.  “You didn’t even hand-write it. Everyone knows you have to hand-write valid contracts and sign them in blood. No wonder it didn’t last against my flames.”

“That’s a legal document!”  Hunk pointed incredulously to the pile of ash at her feet.

“Calm yourself.  I will replicate it for you.”  Allura waved her hand, looking not concerned in the least, and a scroll of parchment appeared in her palm.  “Here, this is how you make a proper contract.” With another wave of her hand, glowing letters traced themselves on the parchment faster than Hunk could believe was possible, the glow settling to jet-black ink as dark as the void.  

Hunk frowned.  “You said contracts had to be hand-written.  You just waved your hand, you didn’t write it.”

“It’s not my fault if your weak human eyes are too slow to see my hand moving.”  Allura scoffed. “I did hand-write it, I assure you.” A space appeared at the bottom of the parchment, and Allura handed him a strange-looking pen with small, thin needles around the grip.  “Here,” Allura said. “Sign this, and then get your client to sign it too. Then you’ll have a proper contract that can’t be destroyed, even by Hell-fire.” As if to demonstrate, more flames burst out of her palm.  But rather than destroying the document, the flames just licked around the edges for a few moments before disappearing. 

Hunk gingerly accepted the pen, holding it by the end without the needles.  “...Why are you doing this?” 

Allura smiled, displaying her sharp teeth.  “I simply want to help you. Besides, you’ll need to know how that pen works, if you want your client to sign after you.”

“I think he’s going to be afraid either way, given that a terrifying demoness is handing it to him.”  Hunk commented.

Allura chuckled.  “Then you are lucky I can alter my appearance to something less… demonic.”  With that, she seemed to shrink a bit, coming to around the same height Hunk himself was.  Her horns retracted, her vaporous hair solidified into something more human-like (though it was still unnaturally white), and her eyes become white with purple-blue irises and dark pupils.  Her claws shortened into immaculately-manicured nails, and even her clothes seemed to soften as the shadows dissipated a little. In a matter of seconds, the person standing before him looked… mostly human.  He might have mistaken her for human, upon first glance, until he noticed the still-pointed ears and pink markings that remained under her eyes. 

“Is this better?”  Allura asked. Her coy smile revealed regular human teeth, aside from some slightly pointed incisors.  

Hunk looked her up and down.  Somehow, he kind of liked the demoness form a little better.  Just… aesthetically. But he had to admit, this would make things easier if his client came back.  “Yes.” 

“Good.”  Allura held out the contract and pen.  “Then sign here.” 

Hunk let out a quiet hiss as he wrapped his fingers around the grip; the needles bit into his skin, but he could already see a drop of red welling at the tip.  He signed his name on the first of the two lines, then handed her back her infernal blood pen, eager to be rid of it. “There. Now we just have to wait for my client to come back--”

“Or we could not.”  Allura mused, turning the document to face her.  “Why wait? You even said you were busy.” Before Hunk could protest, the demoness herself signed her name on the second line with a flourish.  “There, all done!” 

“No, you just ruined it,” Hunk frowned.  “I’m not hunting down  _ your  _ grandfather’s ghost!”

“But that’s not even in this contract.”  Allura told him with a smirk. “Perhaps you should have read it before you signed.”  

Hunk snatched back the paper and read the spiky, curling demon font.  “ _ I, the undersigned, hereby forfeit the ownership of my soul to the demoness Allura.  This contract is binding both in the undersigned person’s life and afterlife, no matter what afterlife they end up in.  This partnership can be broken only by the true will of both parties, not just one. _ ”  His eyes widened with every word and he looked up at her, shocked.  “You tricked me!” 

“I’m a demon, love, that’s my job.”  Allura reached out and tapped him on the lips as if to silence his protests.  “Besides, you didn’t even read the contract before signing it. Who doesn’t read the terms and conditions of an agreement before signing?”

“Everyone!”  Hunk exclaimed.  “Almost nobody actually reads the terms and conditions!”  

Allura blinked, tilting her head slightly.  “Really?” She rested her chin in her hand, looking thoughtful.  “Perhaps I should take human souls more often, then.” 

“No!”  Hunk told her.  “You can’t take any human souls, ever!”  

“You mean, besides the one I already have?”  Allura held up the contract and gave him a sly smirk.  

Hunk opened his mouth to refute her, then hesitated.  If doing this could stop her from taking other innocent people’s souls, then maybe… maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.  Besides, she was… quite attractive. Maybe he wouldn’t mind her hanging around him or his house. And maybe he could even use this to his advantage… “That contract says we’re partners, right?  In what sense?” He asked.

“In every sense of the word.”  Allura smiled, stepping closer.  “Partners in crime, work partners, lovers… we are bound together, eternally, in every way.”  

“Work partners, huh?”  Hunk’s lips quirked up.  And lovers, but he would need to put that on the back burner and process that later.  “So you can go to the underworld and retrieve souls for me in my work?” He held up the notebook-paper full of business questions.  “Then you can start by tracking down this guy’s grandfather and bringing him back to answer these questions,  _ partner _ .”  

Allura faltered, her perfectly-cunning aura suddenly taken aback by this boldness.  She stared at him, eyes narrowing, but Hunk held his ground and met her stare with one of his own.  

Finally Allura growled and snatched the list away from him, shifting back into her demon form.  “Fine. But don’t think you can run while I’m gone. Your soul is bound to mine; I know where you are at all moments.”  

“Good, then you should have no problem bringing that ghost back.”  Hunk told her. She shot a pointed glare at him before jumping back down the portal to Hell.  

Finally alone, Hunk sagged against the wall with a weighty sigh.  He looked down at his right hand, where there were still small wounds left from the blood-ink pen.  His soul bound to a demoness of otherworldly beauty, who seemed intent on living in his house and following him around… What had he gotten himself into?  

But… he thought, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.  She was very beautiful, after all. Sharp teeth and claws and shadows and all.   

**Author's Note:**

> BONUS, several months later...
> 
> Allura, lounging on Hunk's couch with his laptop on her knees: "Hunk~! Your iTunes needs to be updated to the newest version, can I do it for you, love?"
> 
> Hunk: "Yeah, sure go ahea-- WAIT no don't click it, I need to read the terms and conditions first!"
> 
> Allura, groaning because she just wants to listen to a new album and her BF is going to spend 20 minutes reading the fine print on a software update: "Oh for the love of Hell, I never should have told you that..."


End file.
